For many years my dream has been to see older orphans have the opportunity to reach their full potential, whatever that may be. I hope you will take a few minutes to read through this page and find out more about who these older orphans are, their difficult beginnings, the challenges they face in the future. Then find out what you can do.
Who are these "older orphans"?
The term "older orphans" generally means teens and young adults above 14 years old who have no chance for a family. Due to Chinese adoption law, they have "aged out" and are not eligible to be adopted but continue to leave in a welfare institution. These kids have three strikes against them, and without intervention to change their current path, for many the future looks pretty bleak.
Strike One: Orphans and Society
In the west we define the word orphan as a child who has no parents, i.e. whose parents have died. However, the Chinese word for orphan is gu’er which means isolated, solitary, alone child. In fact this is a much better definition for several reasons. For one thing, most children in welfare institutes (orphanages) in China do have living parents. Most have been abandoned due to disability, family instability, and to a lesser extent, gender. A few have known family members, but most arrive with no way to identify their family of origin. These children are alone in the world, but only rarely due to the death of both parents.
The other reason that gu’er is a good descriptor is that without family ties, without a family name, their status in Chinese society is truly of one who is isolated. Family is everything, and the Chinese are fiercely protective of family members, which is why few children whose parents have died end up in institutions – extended family almost always steps in to care for them. Even with fewer aunts and uncles in a family, due to the one child policy, most true orphans will be cared for by grandparents or more distant relatives. So the children who are in institutions, without a family network, are viewed by society as the discarded ones. They are separated not just from their biological family but also from society as a whole. Family identity provides connections (guanxi) which are critical for educational opportunities, job offers, marriage options, and provides an important safety net in hard times, much like in our own cultures. Interestingly, many studies of modern China reference the growing reluctance of young adults to follow the traditional family behaviors. (http://www.economist.com/news/special-report/21701650-chinese-people-increasingly-do-what-they-want-not-what-they-are-told-nation) However, this is a luxury afforded to those who have the choice to use or ignore those connections. The young adults known or perceived to not have family, however distant or uninvolved, continue to be the isolated ones: education options are limited, jobs are often denied simply because of their orphan status, and marriage for young men is unlikely while for women it may be worse.
Strike Two: Life Skills and Institutional Life
Imagine a world where your meals appear three times a day, your clean clothes show up in your room, and you never have to even think about money as all your needs are met without you even asking. Sounds pretty amazing, right? But here’s the catch: you can never decide what to eat, choose your clothes, and you can never leave. Still sound great? Life in an institution doesn’t come with the perks of a pampered upbringing but it does come with some of the side effects: teens and young adults who have virtually no idea about how the world works. We all chuckle and shake our heads about the kid who goes to college and doesn’t know how to do his laundry or pay his bills, but imagine a 15 year old who has never seen money and has no idea that you have to pay for meals in restaurants, who doesn’t know how to navigate a grocery store, use a stove or ride a bus. We have probably seen some sitcoms like that, but this one isn’t funny. Along with deficits in practical skills come huge gaps in social skills: survival skills in a welfare institute do not translate well into the outside world, and young adults who have minimal exposure to society’s norms quickly find themselves further isolated, and in some cases in dangerous situations and relationships.
Strike Three: Disabilities and China
The third strike against our older orphans is the one that most commonly landed them in state care to begin with – a disability. The Chinese word for a person with a disability is gong neng zhang ai zhe, but the commonly used term is canfei which means handicap and useless. This in itself speaks volumes about the attitudes that surround people with physical or cognitive challenges. The majority of children in welfare centers are abandoned due to a physical or mental disability. There are several reasons: The strong social stigma which is attached to these “useless” or “unlucky” ones, the need for a healthy child to care for parents in their later years, the absence or expense of medical care, or a combination of all three.
Chinese society puts a high priority on appearance and fitting in, not unlike the pressures on young people in western culture. In China, however, there are minimal accommodations or protections to assist them in achieving independence. Even the most minor conditions, such as cleft lip or scars, which are not even considered disabilities in our culture, mark a person as unlucky, making finding a job and a place to live very difficult. More functional disabilities such as a missing limb, cerebral palsy or blindness can reduce educational and employment options to almost none, particularly for those with no family connections to help.
I know the picture looks pretty bleak, but the reality is that there has been a real surge in understanding of the difficulties of the older orphan population, and people are coming together to give these teens and young adults a fighting chance at something better. Don't count them out yet!
Strike One: Orphans and Society
In the west we define the word orphan as a child who has no parents, i.e. whose parents have died. However, the Chinese word for orphan is gu’er which means isolated, solitary, alone child. In fact this is a much better definition for several reasons. For one thing, most children in welfare institutes (orphanages) in China do have living parents. Most have been abandoned due to disability, family instability, and to a lesser extent, gender. A few have known family members, but most arrive with no way to identify their family of origin. These children are alone in the world, but only rarely due to the death of both parents.
The other reason that gu’er is a good descriptor is that without family ties, without a family name, their status in Chinese society is truly of one who is isolated. Family is everything, and the Chinese are fiercely protective of family members, which is why few children whose parents have died end up in institutions – extended family almost always steps in to care for them. Even with fewer aunts and uncles in a family, due to the one child policy, most true orphans will be cared for by grandparents or more distant relatives. So the children who are in institutions, without a family network, are viewed by society as the discarded ones. They are separated not just from their biological family but also from society as a whole. Family identity provides connections (guanxi) which are critical for educational opportunities, job offers, marriage options, and provides an important safety net in hard times, much like in our own cultures. Interestingly, many studies of modern China reference the growing reluctance of young adults to follow the traditional family behaviors. (http://www.economist.com/news/special-report/21701650-chinese-people-increasingly-do-what-they-want-not-what-they-are-told-nation) However, this is a luxury afforded to those who have the choice to use or ignore those connections. The young adults known or perceived to not have family, however distant or uninvolved, continue to be the isolated ones: education options are limited, jobs are often denied simply because of their orphan status, and marriage for young men is unlikely while for women it may be worse.
Strike Two: Life Skills and Institutional Life
Imagine a world where your meals appear three times a day, your clean clothes show up in your room, and you never have to even think about money as all your needs are met without you even asking. Sounds pretty amazing, right? But here’s the catch: you can never decide what to eat, choose your clothes, and you can never leave. Still sound great? Life in an institution doesn’t come with the perks of a pampered upbringing but it does come with some of the side effects: teens and young adults who have virtually no idea about how the world works. We all chuckle and shake our heads about the kid who goes to college and doesn’t know how to do his laundry or pay his bills, but imagine a 15 year old who has never seen money and has no idea that you have to pay for meals in restaurants, who doesn’t know how to navigate a grocery store, use a stove or ride a bus. We have probably seen some sitcoms like that, but this one isn’t funny. Along with deficits in practical skills come huge gaps in social skills: survival skills in a welfare institute do not translate well into the outside world, and young adults who have minimal exposure to society’s norms quickly find themselves further isolated, and in some cases in dangerous situations and relationships.
Strike Three: Disabilities and China
The third strike against our older orphans is the one that most commonly landed them in state care to begin with – a disability. The Chinese word for a person with a disability is gong neng zhang ai zhe, but the commonly used term is canfei which means handicap and useless. This in itself speaks volumes about the attitudes that surround people with physical or cognitive challenges. The majority of children in welfare centers are abandoned due to a physical or mental disability. There are several reasons: The strong social stigma which is attached to these “useless” or “unlucky” ones, the need for a healthy child to care for parents in their later years, the absence or expense of medical care, or a combination of all three.
Chinese society puts a high priority on appearance and fitting in, not unlike the pressures on young people in western culture. In China, however, there are minimal accommodations or protections to assist them in achieving independence. Even the most minor conditions, such as cleft lip or scars, which are not even considered disabilities in our culture, mark a person as unlucky, making finding a job and a place to live very difficult. More functional disabilities such as a missing limb, cerebral palsy or blindness can reduce educational and employment options to almost none, particularly for those with no family connections to help.
I know the picture looks pretty bleak, but the reality is that there has been a real surge in understanding of the difficulties of the older orphan population, and people are coming together to give these teens and young adults a fighting chance at something better. Don't count them out yet!